Relationships

Challenges of Intercultural Relationships

While intercultural relationships can enrich our lives and provide life-changing benefits, they can also present challenges. First, in order to build a relationship across cultural boundaries, there has to be motivation. Some things about an intercultural relationship will be different than a same culture relationship and take time to explore. It's much easier to build a relationship where you understand the rules, behaviors, and worldviews of your partner.

Second, intercultural relationships are often characterized by differences. Differences occur in values, perceptions, and communication styles. These differences have been discussed in greater depth in other chapters, but once commonality is established, and the relationship develops, the differences won't seem to be as insurmountable.

Five people are sitting in chairs holding flags from Ireland, the United States, Great Britain, Brazil, and Canada. — Figure 7.1 – Affirming Cultural Identities

Thirdly, another challenge is dealing with negative stereotypes. Stereotypes are powerful, and often take a conscious effort to detect. Pathstone Mental Health suggests seven important things we can do to reduce stereotyping and discrimination within relationships.

Know the facts.
Be aware of your attitudes and behavior.
Choose your words carefully.
Educate others.
Focus on the positive.
Support people.
Include everyone.

Fourth, anxiety or fear about the possible negative consequences because of our actions or being uncertain of how to act towards a person from a different culture is another challenge. Some form of anxiety always exists in the early stages of any relationship but being worried about looking incompetent or offending someone is more pronounced in intercultural relationships. The level of anxiety may even be higher if people have previous negative experiences.

The fifth challenge is affirming another person's cultural identity. We need to recognize and affirm that the other person might have different values, beliefs, and behaviors which form both their individual and cultural identities. The principle of ethnocentrism encourages a tendency in which we tend to view our own values, beliefs, and behaviors to be the norm and that other cultures should adapt to us.

Sixth, the need for explanations is a huge challenge. Intercultural relationships can be more work than intracultural relationships because of the need for explanations. One must clarify our values, beliefs, and behaviors to ourselves and to each other, not to mention to our families and possibly to our communities. Every difference, and similarity, must be explored. Questions like what a friendship looks like and what are the expectations? Or what does a romantic relationship look like and who must approve the relationship? Do taboos exist within the culture for this kind of relationship?

A smiling man in a brown jacket looks affectionately at his partner in front of blurred yellow holiday lights. — Figure 7.2 – Affirming Cultural Identities

It's not impossible for an intercultural relationship to work out. It requires is being open-minded, being interested, being respectful, realizing the similarities, avoiding making assumptions, and celebrating the differences. Intercultural relationships have real challenges, but they can also be amazing.