Your Personality

Achieve Personal Success

Reegan is highly committed to her company but is having trouble getting along with two of her coworkers. They just don't seem to like her, even though she has a lot of good ideas to contribute to the team. While she wants to stay with the company, she just doesn't see that happening with the current work environment. Reegan schedules a meeting with her manager, Lynn, hoping she will have some ideas on how to improve the situation.

Lynn listens intently to Reegan's concerns and says, "Reegan, you are an asset to this organization, with all of your abilities and skills. But as of right now, you are lacking in some areas we should discuss". Reegan is very upset with this reaction; she expected Lynn to talk with the others in her department and force them to be easier to work with. "First, the perception is that you are not a team player. You spend time in meetings talking about your ideas, but you don't ask others what they think of those ideas, nor do you seem to notice body language that indicates someone might have something to say," says Lynn. "Another thing I have noticed is your seemingly unwillingness to engage your coworkers in anything besides work-related tasks. Remember, this team has worked together for over eight years and they have built personal relationships. You don't seem to be interested in anyone you work with".

Reegan, defensive, says, "No one will say anything when I mention my ideas! It isn't my fault that they don't care about bettering this company. They need to speak up if they have comments or ideas of their own. As far as personal life, I am here to work, not make friends".

Lynn sits back in her chair and asks Reegan if she has ever heard of emotional intelligence skills. Reegan hasn't, so Lynn gives her some websites to check out, and then schedules a meeting to talk in two days about emotional intelligence.

This situation in the workplace is not uncommon yet causes thousands of lost work hours and frustrations on the part of managers and employees. Emotional intelligence skills (sometimes referred to as EQ or EI), as we will discuss in this chapter, can help people be aware of their own emotions, manage those emotions, and work better with others. These skills can be developed over time and are an important part of career success.

Before we begin this chapter, it is important to distinguish between personal and professional success, because personal success does not always mean professional success and the other way around. In addition, personal and professional success means different things to different people. For example, having a nice car, a beautiful home, and a fancy job title could be considered professional success. On the other hand, personal success may include the ability to travel, interpersonal relationships, friendships, and other factors that have little to do with professional success. Consider Desiree—she does not earn large sums of money and does not have a fancy job title. She has never been promoted and has worked as an administrative assistant for twelve years for more or less the same salary. However, she does not have the goal of being promoted and prefers to leave the office at 5 pm and not have to think about work beyond that. She has a rich life full of friends and travel and often takes classes to learn new skills such as pottery and kickboxing. One would not argue that Desiree has achieved success and happiness personally. For her, achieving this is far more important than achieving what many would call professional success. However, we know there is much crossover between skills that can help us achieve both professional and personal success or happiness. Emotional intelligence is one of those skills, which we will discuss in greater detail throughout this chapter.

 This text was adapted by Saylor Academy under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License without attribution as requested by the work's original creator or licensor.

Emotional Intelligence

Learning Objective

1. Understand how emotional intelligence can impact your career success.

Emotional intelligence is a topic that has been researched since the early 1990s and has been found to be an important indicator of life and career success. In fact, our book is written around the ability to develop emotional intelligence skills. Emotional intelligence (EQ) refers to a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. This is different from intelligence quotient (IQ) in that IQ measures intelligence based on a score derived from intelligence tests. The other main difference between the two is that IQ is stable over a lifetime, while EQ can grow and develop over time.

The original researchers of EQ, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, provided the first hint of emotional intelligence in their research, but much of the later research on emotional intelligence was done by Daniel Goleman. According to Goleman, there are four main aspects to emotional intelligence, which we will discuss later in this section. First, why is emotional intelligence necessary for success?

To begin with, different from what was previously thought, IQ is not a good predictor of job performance, happiness, or success. Goleman points out that if this myth were true, everyone who graduated at the top of their class with honors would be the most successful people. Because we know this isn't the case, we know qualities other than just IQ can help predict success. Research by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greves has shown that EQ makes up 58 percent of our job requirements and is the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence. Their research also showed that 90 percent of high performers at work had high EQ, while 20 percent of low performers had low EQ. In other words, you can be a high performer at work without EQ, but the chances are slimmer with low EQ. EQ research by Bradberry and Greves shows a link between higher EQ and higher salary. In fact, for every point increase in EQ, there is a $1,300 per year increase in salary.

In one study performed by Virginia Tech, six hundred undergraduate computer science students and twenty institutions participated in a survey that measured emotional intelligence and the ability to handle demanding curriculum. Although emotional intelligence was not directly linked to academic success in the study, students with higher levels of emotional intelligence had more self-efficacy (belief in one's own ability), which allowed them to handle problems better - creating higher academic success. For example, the ability to read body language and understand when someone is sad or mad and needs to talk is an emotional intelligence skill. These skills enable us to interact with others successfully. Consider a person who does not have a "filter" and continually puts down others and says exactly what is on their mind, even if it is hurtful. This clear lack of emotional intelligence affects this person's ability to have good, healthy relationships, both at work and in their personal life.

So, we know that emotional intelligence is important for success at work, at school, and in our personal lives. Let's discuss the four main components of EQ:

1. Self-awareness. Self-awareness refers to a person's ability to understand their feelings from moment to moment. It might seem as if this is something we know, but we often go about our day without thinking or being aware of our emotions that impact how we behave in work or personal situations. Understanding our emotions can help us reduce stress and make better decisions, especially when we are under pressure. In addition, knowing and recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses is part of self-awareness. Assume that Patt is upset about a new process being implemented in the organization. Lack of self-awareness may result in her feeling angry and anxious, without really knowing why. High self-awareness EQ might cause Patt to recognize that her anger and anxiety stem from the last time the organization changed processes and fifteen people got laid off. Part of self-awareness is the idea of positive psychological capital, which can include emotions such as hope; optimism, which results in higher confidence; and resilience, or the ability to bounce back quickly from challenges. Psychological capital can be gained through self-awareness and self-management, which is our next area of emotional intelligence.
2. Self-management. Self-management refers to our ability to manage our emotions and is dependent on our self-awareness ability. How do we handle frustration, anger, and sadness? Are we able to control our behaviors and emotions? Self-management also is the ability to follow through with commitments and take initiative at work. Someone who lacks self-awareness may project stress on others. For example, say that project manager Mae is very stressed about an upcoming Monday deadline. Lack of self-management may cause Mae to lash out at people in the office because of the deadline. Higher EQ in this area might result in Mae being calm, cool, and collected - to motivate her team to focus and finish the project on time.
3. Social awareness. Social awareness is our ability to understand social cues that may affect others around us. In other words, understanding how another is feeling, even if we do not feel the same way. Social awareness also includes having empathy for another, recognizing power structure and unwritten workplace dynamics. Most people high on social awareness have charisma and make people feel good with every interaction. For example, consider Erik's behavior in meetings. He continually talks and does not pick up subtleties, such as body language. Because of this, he can't understand (or even fathom) that his monologues can be frustrating to others. Erik, with higher EQ in social awareness, may begin talking but also spend a lot of time listening and observing in the meeting, to get a sense of how others feel. He may also directly ask people how they feel. This demonstrates high social awareness.
4. Relationship management. Relationship management refers to our ability to communicate clearly, maintain good relationships with others, work well in teams, and manage conflict. Relationship management relies on your ability to use the other three areas of EQ to manage relationships effectively. Take Caroline, for example. Caroline is good at reading people's emotions and showing empathy for them, even if she doesn't agree. As a manager, her door is always open and she makes it clear to colleagues and staff that they are welcome to speak with her anytime. If Caroline has low EQ in the area of relationship management, she may belittle people and have a difficult time being positive. She may not be what is considered a good team player, which shows her lack of ability to manage relationships.

Emotional Intelligence for Success

Author and Pulitzer Prize nominee Daniel Goleman discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in career success.

To increase our self-awareness skills, we should spend time thinking about our emotions to understand why we experience a specific emotion. We should look at those things that cause a strong reaction, such as anger to help us understand the underlying reasons for that reaction. By doing this, we can begin to see a pattern within ourselves that helps explain how we behave and how we feel in certain situations. This allows us to handle those situations when they arise.

To increase our self-management skills, we can focus on the positive instead of the negative. Taking deep breaths increases blood flow, which helps us handle difficult situations. Although seemingly childish, counting to ten before reacting can help us manage emotions such as anger. This gives us time to calm down and think about how we will handle the situation. Practicing positive self-talk can help increase our self-management. Self-talk refers to the thoughts we have about ourselves and situations throughout the day. Since we have over 50,000 thoughts per day, getting into the habit of managing those thoughts is important. By recognizing the negative thoughts, we can change them for the positive. The following are some examples:

Increasing social awareness means to observe others' actions and to watch people to get a good sense of how they are reacting. We can gain social awareness skills by learning people's names and making sure we watch body language. Living in the moment can help our interactions with others as well. Practicing listening skills and asking follow-up questions can also help improve our social awareness skills.

Strategies for relationship management might include being open, acknowledging another's feelings, and showing that you care. Being willing to listen to colleagues and employees and understanding them on a personal level can help enhance relationship management skills. Being willing to accept feedback and grow from that feedback can help people be more comfortable talking with you.

The importance of emotional intelligence, as we introduced at the start of this section, is imperative to being successful at work. Figuring out a plan on how we can increase our emotional intelligence skills can also benefit us personally in our relationships with others.

Emotional intelligence is the key to everything we will discuss throughout the book, and each aspect of our discussion relates back to emotional intelligence, as you can see from Figure 2.1.

Figure 2.1

Emotional intelligence applies to all areas of our lives, both professionally and personally. We will be discussing each of these emotional intelligence aspects throughout the book.

Key Takeaways

• Emotional intelligence (EQ) is different from intelligence quotient (IQ) in that EQ can help predict career success and can be improved over time, whereas IQ is stable over time.
• Emotional intelligence consists of four main components. Self-awareness is the first. This level of intelligence comprises the ability to understand one's own emotions and reactions to those emotions.
• Self-management refers to the ability to manage one's reactions and emotions.
• Social awareness refers to one's ability to read body language and social cues to develop positive relationships both professionally and personally.
• Relationship management skills require all of the three mentioned skills. This skill allows us to handle conflict and get along with others.
• EQ is important because the majority of successful people have both appropriate IQ levels for their job and EQ skills.

Exercises

1. Reread the opening case. What emotional intelligence issues do you think Lynn will address with Reegan when they meet? If you were Lynn, what recommendations would you make to Reegan?

2. Visit http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037 (you do not need to register) and take the 146-question quiz on emotional intelligence, which should take about an hour. Then answer the following questions:

   1. Why do you think EQ predicts more career success than IQ?
   2. What were the results of the quiz? Do you agree with them?
   3. Formulate a plan to improve your emotional intelligence skills, with at least three goals and strategies to reach those goals.

Goal Setting

Learning Objectives

1. Be able to explain strategies you can use for goal setting.
2. Embrace strategies on how you can effectively deal with change.

Goal Setting

As we discussed, our emotional intelligence is the cornerstone for career success. Part of self-management is knowing ourselves and being able to set goals based on understanding our own needs and wants.

Many people end up adrift in life, with no real goal or purpose, which can show lack of self-management. Some people are happy this way, but most people would prefer to have goals that can set the direction for their life. It is similar to going on a road trip without a map or GPS. You might have fun for a while, going where the wind takes you, but at some point you may like to see specific things or stop at certain places, which creates the need for GPS. What happens if you have been driving aimlessly for a while but decide what you want to see is five hundred miles back the other way? A goal would have helped you plan the steps along the way in your trip. Goals are the GPS for your life. Research done by Locke et al. in the late 1960s shows a direct connection between goal setting and high achievement. One of the most popular methods to setting goals is called the SMART philosophy. This includes the following "steps" or aspects to goal setting:

1. Specific. First, the goals need to be specific. Rather than saying, "I want to be a better person," try a goal such as "volunteer two hours per week". The more specific the goal, the more we are able to determine if we were successful in that goal. In other words, being specific allows us to be very clear about what we want to achieve. This clarity helps us understand specifically what we need to do in order to achieve the goal.
2. Measurable. The goal must be measured. At the end of the time period, you should be able to say, "Yes, I met that goal". For example, "increase my sales" isn't measureable. Saying something such as, "I will increase my sales by 10 percent over the next two years," is very specific and measureable. At the end of two years, you can look at how well you have performed and compare your goal with the result.
3. Attainable. The goals should be something we can achieve. We must either already have or be able to develop the attitudes, skills, and abilities in order to achieve the goal. This doesn't mean you need these skills right now, but it does mean over time you should be able to develop them. For example, if my goal is to become a light aircraft pilot, but I am afraid of flying, it may mean I am not willing (or able) to develop the skills and abilities in order to achieve this goal. So this goal would not be attainable and I should choose another one.
4. Realistic. The goal that is set must be something you are willing and able to work toward. The goal cannot be someone else's goal. For example, earning a business degree because your parents want you to may not be compelling enough to follow through with that goal. The goal should be realistic in terms of your abilities and willingness to work toward the goal. If I decided I wanted to be a WNBA player, this is probably not a realistic goal for me. I am too old; I am five feet two inches and not really willing to put in the time to get better at basketball. So as a result, I would likely not achieve this goal.

5. Time-oriented. There should always be a timeframe attached to a specific goal. Most individuals will have longer-term and shorter-term goals. For example, a long-term goal might be to manage a medical lab. In order to meet this longer-term goal, shorter-term goals might include the following:

   • Earn a medical lab technology degree
   • Obtain employment as a medical lab tech
   • Develop skills by attending two conferences per year
   • Develop positive relationship with coworkers and supervisor by using emotional intelligence skills

Within all of our goals, there are shorter-term objectives. Objectives are the shorter-term goals we must do in order to accomplish our bigger goals. For example, possible objectives for two of the goals mentioned previously might be the following:

• Earn a medical lab technology degree

  • Take three courses per quarter to finish in two years
  • Study at least three to six hours per day to earn a 3.5 GPA or higher
  • See my advisor once per quarter
  • Slot one night per week for social time, but focus on studies the rest of the time

• Obtain employment as a medical lab tech

  • Do an internship in the last quarter of school
  • Create a dynamic resume
  • Obtain recommendations from instructors
  • Attend the quarterly medical lab networking event while in school

Another effective strategy in goal setting is writing goals down. Why is this so important? First, you are forced to clarify and think about specific goals using SMART objectives. Second, writing goals down can turn your direction into the right one, and you will be less likely to be sidetracked by other things. Writing goals down and revisiting them often can also provide an outlet for helping you celebrate meeting a certain objective. In our previous example, by writing these things down, we are able to celebrate the smaller successes such as earning a 3.7 GPA or finishing an internship.

Research performed published in the Academy of Management journal also suggests that goals are much more likely to be met if the goal is set by the person attaining the goal. For example, if Sherry's parents want her to become a dental hygienist, but she really wants to become an automotive technician, achieving the goal of dental hygienist may be more difficult, because it's not her own. While this may seem obvious, we can easily take on goals that other people want us to achieve - even well into our adult life. Expectations from our partner, spouse, friends, and social group can influence our goals and make them not our own. For example, if in your group of friends all have the goal of becoming lawyers, we can assume this should be our goal, too. As a result, we may try to meet this goal but be unsuccessful or unmotivated because it isn't truly what we want.

Another thing to consider about goal setting is that as we change, and situations change, we need to be flexible with them. For example, let's say Phil has a goal of earning a degree in marketing. Suppose Phil takes his first marketing class but creates a great idea for a new business he would like to start once he graduates. At this point, Phil may decide earning an entrepreneurship degree instead makes the most sense. It is likely, as a result, since Phil's goal has changed, objectives and timelines may need to change as well.

Revisiting our goals often is an important part to goal setting. One of the most popular examples for rigidity in goal setting was Ford. In 1969, the goal was to develop a car that weighed less than 2,000 pounds and was less than $2,000. This was to be done by the model year 1971. As you know, this was a very short time to reengineer and redesign everything the organization had done in the past. Ford met their goal, as the Ford Pinto was introduced in 1971. However, due to the rush to meet the goal, common safety procedures were not followed in the development process, which resulted in disaster. Engineers did not look at the safety issues in placement of the fuel tank, which resulted in fifty-three deaths when the car went up in flames after minor crashes. While this is an extreme example, revisiting goals, including timelines, is also an important part of the goal-setting process.

Goal-Setting Tips

This animation discusses goal setting and gives tips on how to set goals that are more achievable.

Why Human Relations?

In a 2005 study that compared violence and emotional intelligence, inmates were divided into nonviolent offenses and violent offenses. When emotional intelligence was measured, there was a clear difference between emotional intelligence deficiencies and violence as a vehicle to act out emotions. This, of course, is an extreme example, but it proves the point: the ability to understand our emotions allows us to be better prepared to handle those emotions appropriately, which in turn can create success personally and at work. It allows us to create coping tools to deal with emotions such as anger and frustration.

The ability to manage ourselves helps us handle our emotions but also allows us to handle ourselves in other ways. For example, practicing self-management can teach us how to forgo immediate gratification to meet our goals, a necessary skill to create the kind of life you want. Time management, handling change, and other skills allow us to be successful personally and professionally.

Social awareness is a skill that helps us to see how we are affecting others. Often, we can get too tied up with ourselves and we fail to notice how another person is feeling. Someone who "gets" the social cues, for example, can develop positive working relationships and motivate people.

Relationship management can help us foster skills that help us maintain good working relationships with others. Learning how to handle conflict and communicate well are necessary skills to have a successful marriage, relationship, friendship, and work relationships.

All of these skills are part of every chapter in this book, as the core of a successful career and a happy work life is emotional intelligence skills.

Time Management

Part of reaching goals also refers to our ability to manage our time. This is also part of emotional intelligence, specifically, self-management - the ability to understand what needs to be done and appropriately allot time to achieve our goals. Time management refers to how well we use the time we are given. In order to meet our goals, we must become proficient at managing time. Common tips include the following:

• Learning how to prioritize. Develop the skills of making sure the most important things are done first (even if they are less fun).
• Avoid multitasking. Focus on one task and finish it before moving on.
• Don't get distracted - for example, with e-mails, text messages, or other communications - while working. Set time aside to check these things.
• Make to-do lists. These lists can be daily, weekly, or monthly. Organizing in this way will help you keep track of tasks and deadlines. However, note that a study by the Wall Street Journal suggested 30 percent of people spend more time managing their to-do list than actually doing the work on them. To-do lists can help manage time but should not be a hindrance to actually getting things done!
• Don't overwork yourself. Schedule time for breaks and spend time doing things you enjoy.
• Be organized. Make sure your workspace, computer, and home are organized so you can find things easier. Much time is wasted looking for a file on a computer or a specific item you misplaced.
• Understand your work style, a self-awareness skill. Some people work better in the morning, while others work better at night. Schedule important tasks for times when you are at your peak.
• Don't say yes to everything. Everyone has a limit, and being able to say no is an important part of managing time.
• Find ways to improve concentration. Learning how to meditate for twenty minutes a day or exercising, for example, can help focus your energy.

Effective time management can help us manage stress better but also ensures we can have time to relax, too! Making time management a priority can assist us in meeting our goals. Another important part of career success and personal success is the ability to deal with change, another aspect to emotional intelligence.

Dealing with Change

As we discussed, the ability to set goals is part of emotional intelligence. Perhaps equally as important, being flexible with our goals and understanding that things will change - which can affect the direction of our goals - is part of being emotionally intelligent.

Dealing with change can be difficult. Since most businesses are always in a state of flux, for career success, it is important we learn how to handle change effectively. But first, why do people tend to resist change? There are many reasons why:

1. People are afraid the change will affect the value of their skills. For example, if people are afraid of new technology, this could be because they are nervous their skills on the old technology will no longer be useful to the company. To combat this concern, use a can-do attitude about these kinds of changes. Be the first to sign up for training, since we know technological change is a constant.
2. People are concerned about financial loss. Many people worry about how the change will affect them from a financial perspective. Will it result in lost hours, lost income? If a change is introduced and you aren't sure how it will affect these things - and it is not effectively communicated - the best course of action is to talk with your supervisor to clarify how exactly this change will affect you.
3. Status quo is easier. People get comfortable. Because of this comfort level, change and the unknown seem scary. Try to always look for new ways to enhance and improve the workplace. For example, revisiting and improving the process for scheduling can help us from becoming stagnant.
4. Group norms exist. Sometimes team members are happy to change, but the company does not have a culture that embraces change. Listening to people's ideas and reacting positively to them can help create a climate of change. Avoiding defensiveness and "going along with the crowd" can help combat this reason for not embracing change.
5. Leadership is required. The leadership in our organizations may not provide all of the information we need, or we may not trust them enough to lead us through a change. Despite this, change is inevitable, so obtaining clarification around the change expectations can be an important step to not only understanding the change, but helping the leader become a better leader.

When a change occurs or is occurring, people are likely to experience four phases associated with that change. First, they may experience denial. In this phase, they do not want to accept the change nor do they want to move on to the future. In the resistance phase, people may feel angry or hurt. They may wistfully think about how great things were before the change. In the third phase, exploration, the person may begin to accept the change but with some reservations. In this phase there may be confusion as people start to clarify expectations. In the commitment phase, people have accepted the change, understand how they fit with the change, know how the change will affect them, and begin to embrace it. For example, assume Alan is an expert on the company's most popular product offering, a special computer program used for accounting purposes. He is the organization's top seller, with many of his commissions coming from this product. However, the company has just developed new accounting software, which has much better features for customers. He might find this adjustment difficult because he is comfortable with the current software, and it has been lucrative for him to sell it. Here is how he might go through the phases:

1. Denial. Alan does nothing. He continues about his job and ignores e-mails about the new product.
2. Resistance. Alan tells his coworkers that the change is unnecessary and wonders why they can't continue selling the old product. He discusses why the old product is much better than the new one. He may complain to his manager and find reasons why the change is a bad idea.
3. Exploration. Alan is still nervous about the change but begins to use the new software and realizes it may have some worthwhile features. He wonders how that affects his ability to sell the product, and he begins to think about how he might sell the new software.
4. Commitment. Alan takes some training classes on the new product and realizes how much better it is. He talks with his coworkers about the new product and helps them understand how it works. He sends an e-mail to his customers introducing the new software and all of its benefits.

As you can see in this example, Alan's resistance to the change was because he didn't understand the need to change at first and he was worried about how this change would affect the value of his skills.

Because of technology changes and the fact that many companies have global operations and the need for businesses to be agile, change is a constant force affecting business. Be positive about change and accept it as a necessary part of our work life. We cannot expect things to stay the same for very long. The better we can get at accepting change, the more successful we will likely be in our career.

Figure 2.2

This figure depicts the common process people go through when experiencing change. At each phase, the employee will have a different set of feelings. Leadership can go a long way to helping people understand the need for change, the reason for change, and explaining how the change will affect the employee.

Many a theory has been written about how people undergo change, but one of the more popular models is Lewin's Model on Change. His model proposes three main phases to handling change:

1. Unfreezing. Friction causes change and reduction of forces cause a change to happen. For example, suppose Gillian has been unhappy in her job for three years. She recently gets a new manager who she doesn't like, and a friend tells her about a job at a competing company. In this case, friction occurred (the new manager). In addition, Gillian was worried she wouldn't be able to find another job, but now that she knows about a new job, that reduces the forces that prevented her from changing to begin with.
2. Change. Now that motivations to change have occurred, the change needs to actually occur. Change is a process, not one event at one time. For example, assume Gillian realized taking the new job makes sense, but even though she knows this, accepting the offer and going to her new job on the first day is still scary!
3. Refreezing. Once the change has been made, the refreezing process (which can take years or days, depending on the change) is where the change is the new "normal". People form new relationships and get more comfortable with their routines. Gillian, for example, likely felt odd taking a different way to her new job and didn't know where to have lunch. Gradually, though, she began to meet people, got used to her new commute, and settled in.

Figure 2.3

Lewin's Change Model suggests there must be a motivation to change before a change can take place.

When we become comfortable with change, we are able to allow change into our professional lives. Often, people are too afraid for various reasons to go after that promotion or a new job.

Lewin's Change Model

This short video explains how Lewin's Change Model works. Willingness to change is necessary for career success!

Key Takeaways

• Goal setting is a necessary aspect to career success. We must set goals in order to have a map for our life.
• When we set goals, we should use the SMART goals format. This asks us to make sure our goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-oriented.
• When setting goals, we will also use objectives. Objectives are the shorter-term things we must do in order to meet our goals.
• Time management is also a factor to goal setting. Developing good time management skills can bring us closer to our goals.
• Learning how to deal with change is another way to ensure career success. Many people are adverse to change for a variety of reasons. For example, sometimes it is easier to maintain status quo because we know what to expect. Other reasons may include concern about financial loss and job security, unclear leadership communication, and the existence of group norms.
• Besides attitude and behavior, career promotion means being uncomfortable with possible changes. People resist change because of fear of job security, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, their individual personality, and bad past experience with change.
• Lewin's model suggests three phases of change, which include unfreezing, change, and refreezing. These changes indicate that some motivation must occur for the change to happen (unfreeze). Once the change occurs, there can still be discomfort while people get used to the new reality. Finally, in the refreezing part, people are beginning to accept the change as the new normal.

Exercises

1. Using the SMART model for setting goals, create at least three long-term goals, along with objectives.
2. As you learned in this chapter, time management is an important part of meeting goals. Take this time management quiz to determine how well you currently manage your time: http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3208. Do you feel the test results were accurate? Why or why not?

Continuous Learning

Learning Objective

1. Understand how continuous learning can help you achieve career and personal success.

Continuous learning involves the process of constantly trying to update skills and learn new ones. This shows high emotional intelligence in the area of self-awareness and self-management ("I know I need to learn this new skill to be more valuable to my employee or to be more productive in my personal life"). Having self-awareness, or knowing our strengths and weaknesses, is the first step in improving our chances for career and personal success. Once we are aware (self-aware) of our weaknesses, we can better choose areas in which we would like to learn. For example, if Anton knows he isn't very good at giving presentations, being able to recognize this is self-awareness. Then, finding opportunities to work on this, such as joining a Toastmasters club, shows emotional intelligence in the area of self-management. Anton recognized his weakness and finds ways to improve his abilities.

People who often learn new skills tend to be happier individuals and more value to their organizations. For example, Zappos, a shoe retailer based in Seattle, Washington, maintains a "Wishez" list. Employees post things they are interested in learning, such as how to cook an ethnic dish, and they are connected with other members in the organization who have these skills. This focus on continuous learning makes for happier employees, which makes for more productive workers. In a study by Kansas State University, it was estimated that happy workers are in fact, more productive. The study found that employees who are psychologically distressed cost $75+ per week to the organization.

Learning new skills such as taking a pottery class or learning to ski or surf can help people increase happiness, which in turn can build self-confidence. This confidence can result in a richer and more fulfilling life since we learn new things that we enjoy doing.

Most people who find career success have a habit of being curious and interested in a variety of topics that can enhance their personal lives but also their professional lives, too. As management guru Brian Tracy points out, continuous learning is one of the "nine disciplines" to being successful. But what does it mean to learn continuously? There are several ways we can learn, as depicted in Figure 2.4 "Some Suggestions for Continual Learning".

Figure 2.4 Some Suggestions for Continual Learning

From a career perspective, if we choose not to learn continuously, we end up being stale in both our skills and abilities. Since most industries change so quickly, it is likely our current skills will be outdated in five to ten years. This means we need to constantly update to understand the next set of skills we need to be successful. In addition, sometimes we have to "unlearn" skills as new and better ways evolve. For example, if you have golfed before, you may mimic the golf swings you see on television when you go out to play. Although this swing may work for you for some time, you may get to a point where you want to improve, so you take a lesson from a golf pro. The golf pro looks at your swing and offers advice on how to improve distance and accuracy. In this case, you may have to "unlearn" your old swing in order to improve your golf game. Unlearning can apply to all aspects of our life, not just sports. When things in an organization change, it can be challenging to unlearn the old way and be comfortable with the new way of doing things. Unlearning means you may have to let go of an old way of doing something that may have worked for a long period of time. For example, Parelli Natural Horsemanship program requires training participants to start from square one when learning how to train their horse. The idea is they need to "unlearn" their old ways of training their horse in order to become effective at the sport. So no matter if someone has ten years of experience with horses or zero years, everyone goes back to basics. This can happen in organizations, too. For example, an organization that had high sales in 2007 had to unlearn their way of doing business before the recession in order to continue being successful. A new economy has required relearning of how to operate with many economic changes. In society today, the ability to learn, unlearn, and then learn again can happen over a span of a few months rather than many years. For example, many organizations get "stuck" on a specific way of doing things, and when those things are unlearned, the company can begin to move forward and learn the new way of doing things.

Many organizations value people who can show their focus and dedication to continually learning and unlearning. For example, the Office of Personnel Management of the US Fish and Wildlife Service employs over 9,000 people. Because of their large staff, they have identified twenty-eight leadership competencies, one of which is continual learning. Continual learning is important because it makes us more valuable to our employers, which can result in promotions, higher salary, and more responsibility as we grow our career.

Brian Tracy Talks about Continuous Lear,ning

Brian Tracy, management guru, discusses the importance of continuous learning in entrepreneurship.

Continual Learning

Continual learning is valued and expected at all levels with the Fish and Wildlife department.

Everyone should consider creating a plan to help them develop their talents and create new skills. The plan might include the following:

• What skill(s) do I want to develop?
• What time frame will I give myself to develop them?
• How much time per week/month can I devote?
• What methods will I use? For example, seminars, classes, and so on.

As we learned in the earlier section on goal setting, being specific and writing down those new skills and abilities you want to develop can tend to make it more of a priority, which can result in more personal and career success.

Key Takeaways

• Continuous learning is the process of learning new things to enhance yourself professionally and personally.
• Continuous learning can help increase personal happiness and career success.
• One can engage in continuous learning by taking seminars, workshops, reading, working with a mentor, attending conventions, socializing, and traveling.
• Some organizations, such as the Department of Fish and Wildlife, make continuous learning a part of leadership career pathways.

Exercise

1. What new skills would you like to learn? Write down at least five new skills you would like to learn personally. Then write down five new skills you would like to learn for your career. Identify all of the options that can help you develop these new skills.

Chapter Summary and Case

Chapter Summary

• Emotional intelligence (EQ) is different from intelligence quotient (IQ) in that EQ can help predict career success and can be improved over time, whereas IQ is stable over time.
• Emotional intelligence consists of four main components. Self-awareness is the first. This level of intelligence comprises the ability to understand one's own emotions and reactions to those emotions.
• Self-management refers to the ability to manage one's reactions and emotions.
• Social awareness refers to one's ability to read body language and social cues to develop positive relationships both professionally and personally.
• Relationship management skills require all of the three mentioned skills. This skill allows us to handle conflict and get along with others.
• EQ is important because the majority of successful people have both appropriate IQ levels for their job but also EQ skills.
• Goal setting is a necessary aspect to career success. We must set goals in order to have a map for our life.
• When we set goals, we should use the SMART goals format. This asks us to make sure our goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and have timelines associated with them.
• When setting goals, we will also use objectives. Objectives are the shorter-term things we must do in order to meet our goals. Time management is also a factor to goal setting. Developing good time management skills can bring us closer to our goals.
• Managing our time efficiently is a good way to help us achieve our goals. By looking at time management, we can make sure the time we spend on activities is geared toward meeting our end goals.
• Learning how to deal with change is another way to ensure career success. Many people are adverse to change for a variety of reasons. For example, sometimes it is easier to maintain the status quo because we know what to expect. Other reasons may include concern about financial loss and job security, unclear leadership communication, and the existence of group norms.
• Besides attitude and behavior, career promotion means being uncomfortable with possible changes. People resist change because of fear of job security, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, their individual personality, and bad past experience with change.
• Lewin's model suggests three phases of change, which include unfreezing, change, and refreezing. These changes indicate that some motivation must occur for the change to happen (unfreeze). Once the change occurs, there can still be discomfort while people are getting used to the new reality. Finally, in the refreezing part, people are beginning to accept the change as the new normal.
• Continual learning is an important part of personal development as well as professional development.
• People who engage in continual learning tend to experience more personal happiness and career success.
• One can engage in continuous learning by taking seminars, workshops, reading, working with a mentor, attending conventions, socializing, and traveling.

Chapter Case

Overall, do you feel like you use your time wisely? Think about the ways you have spent your time over the last week. Write down the amount of time you spend doing the following things on an average week:

• Human needs activities (sleeping, cooking, and eating):
• School-related activities:
• Activities geared toward my specific long- and short-term goals:
• Transportation (commuting) activities:
• Continuous learning:
• Facebook, Twitter, other social media, or texting:
• Time-wasting activities:
• Activities for stress management:

1. When you look at how you spent your time, are there any areas where you could manage your time better?
2. Are there any areas you feel like you are spending the perfect amount of time doing?
3. What strategies do you need to implement to manage time better?
4. In our opening case, what emotional intelligence qualities is Reegan lacking? Does this have anything to do with her time management ability? What are some tips that could be used to improve emotional intelligence?

Manage Your Stress

Stressed Out

You are exhausted. When you get home, you drop your work bag and realize you forgot to send an e-mail to your supervisor about an upcoming project. You groan as you run downstairs to your computer. The clock says 7:03 p.m. and you feel like you haven't had a minute to yourself since this morning. As you think about your day, you realize, you haven't! It is your company's busy time so the last few days have been booked with meetings and a huge project, with a Friday deadline. You send the e-mail, make a quick sandwich for dinner, and sit back down at your computer. You are hoping to get a few more things done on the project before tomorrow morning. As you work, you receive text messages from a colleague who is working on one portion of the project. You answer her texts and think about checking Facebook but decide against it as you just have too much to do. Your status update meeting is at 9 a.m. and you want to be able to show extensive progress on the project. At 10:30 p.m., you shut your computer, go to bed, and have a hard time falling asleep because you are thinking about everything you need to finish this week.

Does this sound like someone you know? Many people today are struggling with the ability to manage time with so much work to do and personal/family lives to manage. Technology has certainly made working longer hours easier, as we are always in touch with the office. What we can tend to forget is the importance of managing our stress levels so we can function more effectively. In this situation, having no free time during the day may work for a few days but isn't a healthy long-term solution. This chapter will discuss some types of stress, the effects of stress, and what you can do to reduce stress.

Types of Stress

Learning Objective

1. Be able to define stress and the types of stress that can impact your human relations.

Stress can be challenging to explain, because it means different things to different people. For example, going swimming might be stressful to some, but for others, it might be enjoyable. Stress affects our ability to relate to others because too much stress cause us to be irritable, which affects our communication skills. We will discuss more later on the effects of stress and human relations.

Hans Selye defined stress as the nonspecific response of the body to a demand for a change. In 1936, Selye researched this topic and discovered something surprising. When subjecting lab animals to acute but noxious physical and emotional stimuli - such as blaring light, loud noises, extreme heat or cold, or frustration - they all experienced the same physical symptoms of stress, such as the enlargement of the adrenal glands. He saw that these intense stresses over long periods of time caused other issues such as heart attacks, strokes, and kidney disease. His conclusion was that stress actually caused these conditions, not the stimuli themselves. Today, we usually define stress as the body's way of responding to a demand. For example, if you are stuck in traffic and are going to be late for school, this may create stress. Having two tests in one day may cause stress as you try to find time to study for both. Likewise, you can feel stress in a difficult personal relationship with a family member or a significant other. Other definitions of stress include the internal reaction to a situation that could disturb a person's well-being.

There are four types of stress. The first type of stress is called acute stress. This is the most common form of stress and normally comes from demands and pressures of the past and future. This kind of stress tends to be short term. For example, suppose you have a busy day. You have to drop your niece and nephew at school, stop by the post office, go to class, take a quiz, get an oil change, pick your niece and nephew up from school, drive home through traffic, and make dinner. A busy day such as this can create stress, but it is short term, because perhaps tomorrow you are less busy or are looking forward to the weekend where you don't have as much to do. Every person experiences this kind of stress. Acute stress is a laundry list of the things we must do or a list of the things that didn't go right. For example, if your car breaks down on the way to the post office, this creates a certain amount of acute stress, but once the car is fixed there is no stress associated with it.

Episodic acute stress is a more serious form of acute stress. In this type of stress, the person feels stress on a daily basis and rarely gets relief. Unlike acute stress, where there may be one or two busy, stressful days, episodic acute stress happens on a daily basis. The person who suffers from episodic acute stress feels stressed constantly with little relief. You have probably met these people. They may constantly complain about how much work they have and may be constantly late or always in a rush and may be anxious and irritable on a regular basis. Often, a person who suffers from this type of stress may have taken on too much and created self-imposed demands.

Chronic stress is the type of stress that happens month after month, year after year. This is long-term stress where people see little way out of a situation. Sometimes, chronic stress begins with traumatic experiences such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or childhood experiences. In others, chronic stress can occur in response to everyday stressors that are ignored or not managed well. For example, someone may have episodic acute stress, but over a long period of time, this can become chronic stress. With this type of stress, the person has given up looking for solutions to the stress and tends to just live with it. For example, consider a couple who is very unhappy in their relationship. While at one point in time in their relationship they may have experienced acute stress when arguing, this could have turned into episodic acute stress as the arguing occurred more frequently. Then when that type of stress was unrelieved for a long time, it became chronic stress. It becomes chronic because the couple took no steps to repair their relationship.

We tend to think of all stress as negative, but as Seyle pointed out in his early research, some types of stress can actually cause us to challenge ourselves and work at a higher level. For example, if you want to run a marathon, at some point you may have to physically challenge yourself to keep running even when you are exhausted. This type of stress - positive stress to help us achieve at a higher level - is called eustress. It can motivate us to reach goals. For example, we may experience eustress before a job interview. This eustress can be positive if it helps us achieve success in the interview. Some people may view positive stress as negative stress and vice versa. For example, if I were told I needed to run a marathon, this would most definitely create negative stress for me. However, for others, this might be an enjoyable experience that generates eustress.

The Human Function Curve, originally developed by Peter Nixon, says there are different levels of stress that we may experience and our stress level affects our level of performance. He calls any state where we are awake and reacting to stimuli an arousal state, such as being at work. If we compare the amount of stress to our performance, our performance actually improves when we experience eustress. However, according to this model, there is a point where chronic stress can impede our performance. Looking at Figure 3.1 "The Human Function Curve", you can see in the drone zone, for example, that our performance is low. We may be bored and not have enough positive stress for us to perform at a higher level. In the C zone, for example, we may experience eustress, which raises our performance. However, when we reach the fatigue zone, we could be experiencing chronic stress, which impedes our performance.

Figure 3.1 The Human Function Curve

As you can see, performance is actually improved with a certain amount of stress, but once that stress becomes episodic or chronic, our performance actually goes down.

Another important thing to remember about stress is that it varies from one person to another. One person may feel intense acute stress when asked to give a speech in front of the class, while someone may feel eustress if asked to give the same speech. Likewise, it may take one person much longer - and more stress than another - to reach the C zone of performance. When dealing with stress, finding the ideal stress level - the one that creates eustress and gets you ready for challenges - is the goal.

Key Takeaways

• Stress is the body's response to change. Stress is defined in many different ways and stress and the types of things that cause stress can vary from person to person. Today, we generally say that stress is the body's way of responding to a demand.
• Acute stress is the type of stress we experience on a day-to-day basis - for example, the stress of getting our to-do list finished or the stress of unplanned setbacks.
• When a person rarely gets relief from stress, this is called episodic acute stress. This type of stress usually goes on for longer periods of time with little relief.
• Chronic stress is characterized as long-term stress, where there is little hope for relief. These are long-term situations where the person has given up trying to find a solution.
• Not all stress is bad; some stress can actually help us to perform at a higher level and challenge us. This type of stress is called eustress.

Exercises

1. Take the quiz listed at http://www.arc.sbc.edu/stressquiz.html and then answer the following questions:

   1. What was your score on the test? Do you feel this is accurate?
   2. What are some ways you handle stress in your life? Are these methods effective? Why or why not?

2. Discuss which types of stress these situations might be:

   1. Michael has a project due on Monday.
   2. Tara just can't seem to like her job over the last few years.
   3. Mika puts a lot of pressure on herself to get everything done on her to-do list every day.
   4. Franc is nervous about his presentation in class tomorrow.
   5. Jacob has a long list of things that are due today.
   6. Karen has been struggling with financial issues her whole adult life.

Symptoms of Stress

Learning Objectives

1. Be able to explain the physiological changes our body goes through when experiencing stress.
2. Identify the results when we have too much stress in our life.

Our bodies go through a number of changes when we are faced with a stressor. From prehistoric times, physical changes in our body had to occur in order to prepare us to handle the stress. For example, we needed to be able to run fast to get away from something that could hurt us or we needed the energy to obtain food. This is called the fight or flight response. This concept was developed by Walter Cannon in the 1920s, and he believed that these reactions in the body enabled us to mobilize to deal with a stressful situation. More recent research has shown the addition of "freeze" to the response. This occurs when the fight or flight response didn't work - or we were unable to react quickly enough to fight or flight, and we "play dead" or become immobilized. This response is as natural as fight or flight in our body chemistry. Consider the person attacked by a bear who plays dead and survives. The person couldn't run (flight) and couldn't effectively fight against the bear, so the freeze reaction (or the "do nothing," play dead) reaction can sometimes work. We use the freeze reaction in response to stress triggers at work. For example, we can't just leave (flight), as we typically need the job to pay our bills; it also may not be worth it to fight, so we freeze in response to the situation. Although this is an oversimplification of the body's chemistry, it illustrates the point that the flight-fight-freeze response is actually a very prehistoric event. Today, even though our stresses may be different, our body still reacts the same way as it did in prehistoric times. To fully understand how stress impacts us, we need to understand how our bodies handles stress. When our brains initially perceive a threat, a few physiological effects, Figure 3.2 "Physiological Effects of Stress", occur within each system of our bodies.

Figure 3.2 Physiological Effects of Stress

Physically our bodies go through various changes to prepare us for a flight or fight response.

According to a survey of the American Psychological Association, 44 percent of Americans lie awake at night because of stress. This is one example of how prolonged episodic stress can affect our personal life and our productivity at work. It is a positive thing for our body to get ready for acute stress. It prepares our body to perform at a higher level. However, long-term chronic stress or episodic acute stress can cause a variety of problems. Those problems are listed in Table 3.1 "Common Effects of Stress on Our Bodies, Moods, and Behaviors".

Table 3.1 Common Effects of Stress on Our Bodies, Moods, and Behaviors

In the 2011 American Psychological Association Stress survey, 42 percent of Americans report anger as a result of stress, while 37 percent report fatigue as a result of stress. Lack of interest, motivation, and energy is reported by 35 percent of Americans. Digestion issues and changes in appetite are also reported. With these being fairly common occurrences, we can see the importance of learning how to manage stress. These symptoms can affect our ability to communicate well and be productive at work. If we do not get enough sleep, we lose interest and motivation and we are not our best at work, which can result in poor human relations with our coworkers, friends, and family. In Section "Sources of Stress", we will look at some possible causes of stress and discuss some of the ways we can learn to better handle stress.

Why Human Relations?

Stress can shut down our ability to think rationally and feel emotions. As you know from Chapter 2 "Achieve Personal Success", these two abilities are part of emotional intelligence (self-management and self-awareness). These abilities allow us to identify and then manage our emotions. When we identify our stressor and our emotion around that stressor, we can begin to make plans on how to handle it. Without the ability to identify this emotion, we are not as well equipped to handle the emotions that may come with stress. Without these stress-management skills, we can let our stress get out of control. When stress occurs, the shutting down of our emotions doesn't allow us to make rational decisions, nor does it allow us to be emotionally available to others. Because of this, stress can affect our ability to communicate and work effectively with people at work. People who are stressed often are impatient, poor listeners, and may lose their sense of humor. These temporary behaviors that occur when we are stressed can impact how others see us, and how well we interact with them. Also consider the effect stress may have on our ability to manage conflict. If someone is stressed about day-to-day frustrations, such as traffic, bills, workload, and to-do lists, the stress does not allow him or her to manage conflict, as emotions are in a state of confusion. This can lead to poor decision making and thus result in the inability to interact effectively with others. Everyone has stress in both their personal and professional lives. Learning how to manage this stress is one of the first steps in making sure we are mentally prepared to nurture our relationships at work and at home.

Flight or Fight?

This video illustrates how our flight or fight response is similar to that of prehistoric times.

Key Takeaways

• The flight or fight response is our body's physiological response to perceived threats. The basic physiological function is the same today as it was in prehistoric times.
• Having too much stress can cause many issues - like headaches, sleeplessness, and irritability - that can affect our human relations ability.

Exercise

1. Think of a time when you felt very stressed. What kinds of physiological effects occurred? How did you handle these situations?

Sources of Stress

Learning Objective

1. Explain the sources of stress we can experience, both personally and professionally.

Work Stress

As we have studied so far in this chapter, we can experience a number of possible stressors. We can divide these stressors into personal stresses and work stresses. Although we divide them for purposes of ease, it is intuitive that if someone is experiencing personal stress, he or she will also experience it at work, which will result in lessened workplace performance. In fact, the American Institute of Stress estimates that workplace stress costs companies $300 billion annually. This cost is a result of increased absenteeism, employee turnover, and higher medical and insurance costs due to stress related illness and worker productivity.

According to the American Institute of Stress, some of the common causes of workplace stress include the following:

1. Long hours and increased demands. The average American works forty-six hours per week. Much of this is due to increased technology and expectations that employees will be available to answer e-mail on weekends and evenings. As a result of this added work time, employees find less time to engage in leisure and household activities such as grocery shopping and cleaning.
2. Being treated unfairly. Workplace issues such as harassment and bullying can cause people to feel stress at work. Additional issues such as feeling overlooked for promotions can also cause workplace stress. In extreme cases, perceived workplace unfairness can result in violence. For example, Matthew Beck shot and killed four supervisors in a Connecticut lottery office because he felt he had been unfairly overlooked for a promotion. Many organizations offer Employee Assistance Programs that can offer services, such as counseling, to help deal with workplace stress and other personal issues.
3. Little or no acknowledgment or reward. People can feel stress when they do not feel they are being recognized for the work they do. This kind of workplace stress can cause people to become withdrawn, unmotivated, or unfocused on being productive for the organization. This type of behavior can also materialize at home with people experiencing this stress being more irritable, cranky, and moody. At work, these feelings can negatively affect our ability to relate to our coworkers and manager.
4. Lack of control. Micromanagement refers to excessive control of work details by a supervisor. For example, a micromanager might tell an employee specific tasks should be worked on in a given day and give specific instructions on how those tasks should be accomplished. This type of situation can create stress, as the employee feels he or she has little control of their own work.
5. Lack of job security. In the last quarter of 2011 (October, November, December), 266,971 employees were subjected to mass company layoffs, and for obvious reasons, this creates stress upon the workers who had to leave and for those workers who stay. Those workers who have been laid off may experience financial hardship, and the workers who haven't been laid off may need to perform extra work and can suffer from physiological issues even if their jobs were not eliminated. This phenomenon is called layoff survivor syndrome. Many of the stressors caused by layoffs can include increased workloads, increased anxiety, and lower morale.
6. Office politics. Dealing with difficult coworkers or supervisors and different personalities and communication styles can create stress at work. Conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings are common in today's workplace, especially with the use of technology. All of these factors, which we call office politics, can create stress, which results in lost sleep, productivity, and motivation - obviously affecting our ability to relate to others.

Figure 3.3 Some of the Reasons Cited for Workplace Stress

Work Stress Management

Figure 3.4 Time Use on an Average Work Day for Employed Persons Ages Twenty-five to Fifty-four with Children

Data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows how much time we spend at work. Since we spend more time at work than doing anything else, learning how to manage stress at work is an important part to our personal well-being and productivity.

Personal Stress

While job stress is important to consider, stresses in our personal life can cause issues in our job. In this section, we will discuss some of the major personal stressors.

1. Everyday challenges. Getting caught in traffic or a leaky water heater would be examples of things that cause stress in our personal lives. Luckily, most of us have the abilities to cope with these daily stresses. However, too many of these types of stressors in one day can build up and cause major issues at work or in our personal life.
2. Personality. Our individual personalities can impact our ability to handle stress. Research published by Meyer Freidman in the 1950s characterized two main personality types, type A and type B. People with a type A personality tend to be more time conscious, impatient, and preoccupied with tasks. A Type A Behavior Pattern (TABP) is characterized by impatience, aggressiveness, a sense of time urgency, and the desire to achieve recognition and advancement. People with a type A pattern may have a hyperawareness of time and, as a result, perform tasks quickly. Because of these patterns, the person with TABP may feel constantly rushed as they strive to be constantly competitive, causing stress and related health issues. Type A personalities are not viewed as a fixed trait but rather a set of predispositions that may occur in certain situations only. For example, Amiee may exhibit a type A personality at work but at home may not be as time sensitive and impatient. Type B personalities are more focused on the here and now and are much more laid back. Type B personalities do not normally experience as much stress as their type A counterparts because their viewpoint on time and achievement is different.

Type A Personality and Stress

A humorous (and exaggerated) example of stress caused by type A personality.

1. Work-life balance. Everyone must manage multiple roles in their life. The roles of mother or father, boss, employee, spouse, sister, or brother have their own unique demands that can create stress at home and at work. When we have challenges at work, this can affect our roles at home and vice versa. Although many organizations promote a work-life balance and create a culture that allows people to have a "home life," easy access to send that "one last e-mail" at 9 p.m. for work creates a blurred line between home and work. This creates an even greater need for our emotional intelligence skills (self-awareness and self-management) in that we must be aware of our emotions and handle them when they come - rather than just going about our day and plowing ahead.
2. Life changes. There are forty-three life changes that are characterized as creating stress. These life changes are measured on a scale called life change units, created by Thomas H. Holmes and Richard Rahe. The life changes are said to cause stress in one's personal life. However, personality type and situational factors may affect how much a particular event affects a person. For example, suppose a major life change such as the death of a spouse occurs. This would cause an immense amount of stress, but assume the spouse was very ill for a long period of time. In this situation, the latter could have caused stress as well. So while the scale has value in terms of determining what life changes cause the most stress, it is also important to consider the other factors around the life change, along with a person's personal coping ability.

Figure 3.5

Thomas H. Holmes and Richard Rahe measured personal stress by Life Change Units. According to their research, the more "major changes" one experiences, the higher chance a person will end up with a stress-induced illness. Someone with a score of 300 or more is said to be at a high risk of illness. If you look at the events of your life over the last year, what is your score?

1. Financial issues. Tough economic times, combined with increasing costs of fuel and other living expenses, create great stress on individuals and families. Not having enough money to buy basic needs and lacking the ability to buy the wants we have can lead to anxiety, tension, and depression. These emotions can carry over into our work life, resulting in lowered productivity and lowered human relations with our coworkers.
2. Friends and family issues. Challenges with family, in-laws, and friends create a great source of stress as well. While most of us depend on friends and family for support, tension and disagreements can cause stress.

Now that we have discussed the things that cause stress, Section "Reducing Stress" will address some ways we can relieve stress in our lives.

Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You?

Understanding your own stress level is an emotional intelligence skill (self-awareness). Take this quiz, and rate how you typically react in each of the situations listed below.

4 = Always

3 = Frequently

2 = Sometimes

1 = Never

Enter the appropriate number in the blank for each question below, and then add up your numbers to determine your stress level.

1. _____ Do you try to do as much as possible in the least amount of time?
2. _____ Do you become impatient with delays or interruptions?
3. _____ Do you always have to win at games to enjoy yourself?
4. _____ Do you find yourself speeding up the car to beat the red light?
5. _____ Are you unlikely to ask for or indicate you need help with a problem?
6. _____ Do you constantly seek the respect and admiration of others?
7. _____ Are you overly critical of the way others do their work?
8. _____ Do you have the habit of looking at your watch or clock often?
9. _____ Do you constantly strive to better your position and achievements?
10. _____ Do you spread yourself "too thin" in terms of your time?
11. _____ Do you have the habit of doing more than one thing at a time?
12. _____ Do you frequently get angry or irritable?
13. _____ Do you have little time for hobbies or time by yourself?
14. _____ Do you have a tendency to talk quickly or hasten conversations?
15. _____ Do you consider yourself hard-driving?
16. _____ Do your friends or relatives consider you hard-driving?
17. _____ Do you have a tendency to get involved in multiple projects?
18. _____ Do you have a lot of deadlines in your work?
19. _____ Do you feel vaguely guilty if you relax and do nothing during leisure?
20. _____ Do you take on too many responsibilities?

Total: _____

If your score is between 20 and 30, chances are you are nonproductive or your life lacks stimulation.

A score between 31 and 50 designates a good balance in your ability to handle and control stress.

If you tallied up a score ranging between 51 and 60, your stress level is marginal and you are bordering on being excessively tense.

If your total number of points exceeds 60, you may be a candidate for heart disease and need to immediately find ways to relieve your stress.

Key Takeaways

• Workplace stress costs companies as much as $300 billion annually. Stress experienced at work can come from higher demands, layoffs, conflicts among coworkers, or office politics.
• Many people also can experience personal stresses, which affect workers' abilities to be productive. Personal stress can come from life changes, financial issues, family and friend issues, or our personality. Type A personalities tend to experience more stress as a result of their high need for achievement.

Exercises

1. Type A personalities tend to experience more stress than their type B personality counterpart. Take this quiz online at http://cl1.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=2986 to see what type you fall into. How do you think your personality contributes (or not) to stress?
2. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? My personality contributes to the amount of stress I have in my life. Please explain in two to four paragraphs.

Reducing Stress

Learning Objective

1. Explain techniques that can help us better cope with stress.

We all experience stress at one time or another. However, we can take action to assess and relieve the stress in our life. First, we do some self-analysis to determine the stressors in our life and how we handle it. This emotional intelligence skill (self-awareness) allows us to see what we need to improve upon. Then, we can apply self-management tools to help us manage the stress in our lives. The benefit of this identification and management is that it allows us to relate better to others both in our work life and personal life.

Look at your habits and emotions and really think about what is causing the stress. For example, Julie may be stressed about a project due on Friday, but the real stress may be because she procrastinated in starting the project, and now there isn't enough time to complete it. Or perhaps Gene is stressed because his personality type causes him to put too many things on his to-do list, and he isn't able to get them done. Accepting responsibility for the role we play in our own stresses can be the first step in maintaining a life with mostly positive stress!

Next, we can look at the way we currently deal with stress. For example, when Emily is feeling stressed, she smokes a pack of cigarettes and tends to have several glasses of wine at night. When she isn't stressed, she doesn't smoke and may limit herself to just one or two glasses of wine every few days. Some people smoke marijuana or use other drugs to cope with the stress of everyday life. These substances seemingly help for a period of time but prevent us from actually dealing with the stress - and doesn't help us to gain skills in self-awareness. Understanding your current coping mechanisms for stress can help you determine what works to manage stress - and what doesn't.

Figure 3.6 The Four As for Dealing with Stress

Once we do some self-analysis, we can use a method called the four As. The four As gives us four choices for dealing with a stressor:

1. Avoid the stressor. We can try to avoid situations that stress us out. If watching certain television programs causes stress, stop watching them! Spend time with people who help you relax. We can also look at saying no more often if we do not have the time necessary to complete everything we are doing.
2. Alter the stressor. Another option in dealing with stress is to try to alter it, if you can't avoid it. When changing a situation, you can be more assertive, manage time better, and communicate your own needs and wants better. For example, Karen can look at the things causing her stress, such as her home and school commitments; while she can't change the workload, she can examine ways to avoid a heavy workload in the future. If Karen is stressed about the amount of homework she has and the fact that she needs to clean the house, asking for help from roommates, for example, can help alter the stressor. Often this involves the ability to communicate well.
3. Adapt to the stressor. If you are unable to avoid or change the stressor, getting comfortable with the stressor is a way to handle it. Creating your own coping mechanisms for the stress and learning to handle it can be an effective way to handle the stress. For example, we can try looking at stressful situations in a positive light, consider how important the stressor is in the long run, and adjust our standards of perfectionism.
4. Accept the stressor. Some stressors are unavoidable. We all have to go to work and manage our home life. So, learning to handle the things we cannot change by forgiving, developing tolerances, and letting going of those things we cannot control is also a way to deal with a stressor. For example, if your mother-in-law's yearly visits and criticisms cause stress, obviously you are not able to avoid or alter the stress, but you can adapt to it and accept it. Since we cannot control another person, accepting the stressor and finding ways of dealing with it can help minimize some negative effects of the stress we may experience.

When your roommate borrowed your car without asking, you need to pick up a friend from the airport, and you have friends coming over for dinner - all on the same night, finding a way to reduce stress is important. Reducing stress for every person is going to be different. Being able to recognize what helps you personally reduce stress is an important part to a healthy work and home life. For example, exercising may be a great stress reducer for Duana, but for Lisa, finding time to exercise might cause more stress than the actual exercise helps!

Researchers have found the following activities cut stress significantly:

• Meditating
• Listening to music
• Getting enough sleep
• Drinking black tea
• Spending time with a funny friend
• Pampering, such as a massage
• Doing something spiritual
• Chewing gum

Other ways to reduce stress might include the following:

• Exercising
• Developing good time management skills
• Eating a healthy diet
• Organization such as keeping workspace organized
• Picturing yourself relaxed
• Breathing deeply
• Social interaction such as spending time with family and friends
• Positive thinking

As this chapter has addressed, stress can be a positive motivator in our lives, but too much stress can create human relations issues, productivity, and other serious health issues. By practicing self-awareness and then self-management, we can begin to realize those things that cause us stress and deal with them in a healthier manner.

Key Takeaways

• The four As of stress reduction can help us reduce stress. They include: avoid, alter, adapt, and accept. By using the four As to determine the best approach to deal with a certain stressor, we can begin to have a more positive outlook on the stressor and learn to handle it better.
• There are a variety of things we can do to reduce stress. Exercise, a healthy diet, meditation, music, and social interaction can help reduce stress. Also, getting better at time management and organization can help reduce our stress.

Exercise

1. Of the ways to handle stress listed in this chapter, which ones do you already integrate in your life? Do you engage in other methods not listed here? Share your ideas for stress reduction in small groups.

Chapter Summary and Case

Chapter Summary

• Stress is defined as the body's response to change. Stress is defined in many different ways and stress and the types of things that cause stress can vary from person to person. Today, we generally say that stress is the body's way of responding to a demand.
• Acute stress is the type of stress we experience on a day-to-day basis, for example, the stress of finishing our to-do list or the stress of unplanned setbacks.
• When a person rarely gets relief from stress, this is called episodic acute stress. This type of stress usually goes on for longer periods of time with little relief.
• Chronic stress is characterized as long-term stress, where there is little hope for relief. These are long-term situations where the person has given up trying to find a solution.
• Not all stress is bad; some stress can actually help us to perform at a higher level and challenge us. This type of stress is called eustress.
• The flight or fight response is our body's physiological response to perceived threats. The basic physiological function is the same today as it was in prehistoric times.
• Having too much stress can cause many issues - such as headaches, sleeplessness, and irritability - that can affect our human relations ability.
• Workplace stress costs companies as much as $300 billion annually. Stress experienced at work can come from higher demands, layoffs, conflicts among coworkers, or office politics.
• Many people also experience personal stresses, which affect their ability to be productive at work. Personal stress can come from life changes, financial issues, family and friend issues, or our personality. Type A personalities tend to experience more stress as a result of their high need for achievement.
• The four As of stress reduction can help us reduce stress. They include avoid, alter, adapt, and accept. By using the four As to determine the best approach to deal with a certain stressor, we can begin to have a more positive outlook on the stressor and learn to handle it better.
• There are a variety of things we can do to reduce stress. Exercise, a healthy diet, meditation, music, and social interaction can help reduce stress. Also, getting better at time management and organization can help reduce the stress we feel.

Chapter Case

Mandy feels like she can't deal with the stress anymore. First, her mother moved into her house for two months because of major home renovations. Mandy feels like her mother is constantly critical of the way she keeps her house and handles her life. While Mandy knows helping her mom for the next couple of months is the right thing to do, she can't help being annoyed. Mandy is also having trouble at her job. Her job in the medical lab is usually fun, but the organization laid off three workers recently and Mandy finds her workload has been too much to handle. It is the hospital's busy time, too, so Mandy often works late to get the work done. On top of all that, Mandy had lent her best friend, Sylvia, $200 last month for rent, and Sylvia hasn't paid it back. Mandy not only needs the money but also feels that Sylvia was disrespectful when Mandy asked for the money back. Mandy is afraid this will affect their ten-year friendship.

1. Identify Mandy's stressors.
2. What type of stress is Mandy experiencing?
3. Using the four As model, how can Mandy go through the process to resolve her stress? Discuss in detail Mandy's options.