Professionalism, Etiquette, and Ethical Behavior

A persistent idea within the field of psychology is that there are five basic personality traits, often known as the "Big Five" or by the acronyms OCEAN or CANOE. Each trait contains within it a sliding scale that describes how we behave in certain situations. The five are as follows:

1. Openness to experience: curious and innovative vs. cautious and consistent.
2. Conscientiousness: goal-driven and detail-oriented vs. casual and careless.
3. Extroversion: outgoing and enthusiastic vs. solitary and guarded.
4. Agreeableness: cooperative and flexible vs. defiant and stubborn.
5. Neuroticism: anxious and volatile vs. confident and stable.

Except for neuroticism, most of the traits as named correlate with professional success. Researchers have found that successful people are generally organized, innovative, outgoing, cooperative, and stable, although extroverts do not do as well as introverts on individual tasks and agreeableness does not necessarily lead to a high salary.

Blending these with Guffey, Loewy, and Almonte's six dimensions of professional behavior in Essentials of Business Communication and putting our own spin on these ideas, Table 10.2.1.1 below presents a guide for how generally to be successful in your job, how to be well liked, and how to be happy. Consider it also a checklist for how to be a decent human being.

Table 1: The Five Qualities of a Successful Professional

Quality	Specific Behaviors
Conscientious	Consistently do your best work in the time you have to do it. Be organized and efficient in your workflow and time management. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and follow through on commitments. Go the extra mile for anyone expecting quality work from you (while respecting time, budget, or other constraints). Finish your work on time rather than leave loose ends for others.
Courteous	Speak and write clearly at a language level your audience understands. Be punctual: arrive at the workplace on time and deliver work by the deadline. Notify those expecting you when you are running late. Apologize for your own errors and misunderstandings. Practice active listening. Share your expertise with others and be a positive, encouraging mentor to those entering the workplace.
Tactful	Exercise self-control with regard to conversational topics and jokes. Avoid contentious public and office politics, especially in writing. Control your biases by being vigilant in your diction (e.g., word choices involving gendered pronouns). Accept constructive criticism gracefully. Provide helpful, improvement-focused feedback mixed with praise. Keep negative opinions of people to yourself. Be patient, understanding, and helpful towards struggling colleagues.
Ethical	Avoid even small white lies and truth-stretching logical fallacies. Avoid conflicts of interest or even the perception of them. Pay for products and services as soon as possible if not right away. Respect the confidentiality of private information and decisions. Focus on what you and your company do well rather than criticize competitors to customers and others. Follow proper grievance procedures rather than take vengeance. Be charitable whenever possible.
Presentable	Be positive and friendly, especially in introductions, as well as generous with your smile. Present yourself according to expectations in grooming and attire. Practice proper hygiene (showering, dental care, deodorant, etc.). Follow general rules of dining etiquette.

Civility

Civility simply means behaving respectfully towards everyone you interact with. Being civilized means following the golden rule: treat others as you expect to be treated yourself. The opposite of civility is being rude and aggressive, which creates conflict and negatively affects productivity in the workplace because it creates a so-called chilly climate or a toxic work environment. Such a workplace makes people uncomfortable, miserable, or angry – not emotions normally conducive to people doing their best work.

Social Intelligence

In the decades you have been immersed in the various cultures you have passed through, you have come to understand the (often unspoken) rules of decent social interaction. Having social intelligence means following those rules to cooperate and get along with others, especially in conversation.

This includes reading nonverbal cues so that you know:

• How and when to initiate conversation.
• When it's your turn to speak and when to listen in order to keep a conversation going.
• What to say and what not say.
• How to say what you mean in a manner that will be understood by your audience.
• When and how to use humor effectively and when not to.
• How and when to end conversation gracefully.

People who lack social intelligence, perhaps because they missed opportunities to develop conversational skills in their formative school years, come off as awkward in face-to-face conversation. They typically fail to interpret correctly nonverbal cues that say "Now it is your turn to speak" or "Okay, I am done with this conversation; let's wrap it up".

It is difficult to interact with such people either because they make you do all the work keeping the conversation going or do not let you speak and keep going long after you wanted it to stop, forcing you to be slightly rude in ending it abruptly. Like any other type of intelligence, however, social intelligence can be developed through an understanding of the principles of good conversation (see above) and practice.

Emotional Intelligence

Like social intelligence, emotional intelligence (EI) involves being a good reader of people in social contexts, being able to distinguish different emotions, and knowing what to do about them with regard to others and yourself. Strong EI means knowing how a person is likely to react to what you are about to say and adjusting your message accordingly, and then adjusting again according to how they actually react.

Though we often hide our inner emotional state – smiling and looking happy when we are feeling down, or wearing a neutral "poker face" to mask our excitement – in professional situations, EI enables us to get a sense of what others are actually feeling despite how they appear. It involves reading subtle nonverbal signals such as eye movements, facial expressions and fleeting micro-expressions, posture, hands, and body movements for how they betray inner feelings different from the outward show.

Beyond merely reading people, however, EI also requires knowing how to act, such as empathizing when someone is upset – even if they are trying to hide it and show strength – because you recognize that you would be upset yourself if you were in their position (see below for more on empathy).

Every interaction you have is colored by emotion – both yours and the person or people you interact with. Though most routine interactions in the workplace are on the neutral-to-positive end of the emotional spectrum, some dip into the red – anywhere from slightly upset and a little sad to downright furious or suicidal. Whether you keep those emotions below the surface or let them erupt like a volcano depends on your self-control and the situation. Expressing such emotions in the workplace requires the good judgment represented by the 3 T's:

• Tact: Recognizing that what you say has a meaningful impact, tact involves the careful choice of words to achieve intended effects. In a sensitive situation where your audience is likely to be upset, for instance, tact requires that you use calming and positive words to reduce your message's harmful impact (see above on negative messages). When you are upset, tact likewise involves self-restraint so that you do not unleash the full fury of what you are feeling if it would be inappropriate. When emotions are running high, it is important to recognize that they are just thoughts that come and go, and that you may need some additional time to process information when you are in a different emotional state before communicating about it.
  
  
• Timing: There is a time and place for expressing your emotions. Expressing your anger when you are at the height of your fury might be a bad move if it moves you to say things you will later regret. Waiting to cool down so that you can tactfully express your disappointment will get the best results if it's an important matter. If it is a trivial matter, however, waiting to realize that it is not worth the effort can save you the trouble of dealing with the fallout of a strong and regrettable reaction.
  
  
• Trust: You must trust that the person you share your feelings with will respect your privacy and keep whatever you say confidential or at least not use it against you.

By considering these 3 T's, you can better manage the expression of your own emotions and those of the people you work with and for in the workplace.

Like those who lack social intelligence, those who lack emotional intelligence can often be difficult to work with and offensive, often without meaning to be. When someone fails to understand the emotional "vibe" of their audience (fails to "read the room"), we say that they are "tone deaf". This can be a sign of immaturity because it takes years to develop EI through extensive socialization in your school years and beyond, including learning how and why people take offense to what you say.

Someone who jokes openly about another's appearance in front of them and an audience, for instance, either fails to understand the hurt feelings of the person who is the butt of the joke or does not care. Either way, people like this are a liability in the workplace because their offense establishes an environment dominated by insecurity – where employees are afraid that they will be picked on as if this were the elementary school playground. They will not do their best work in such a "chilly climate" or toxic environment.

Social Graces

Social graces include all the subtle behavioral niceties that make you likable. They include manners such as being polite, etiquette (e.g., dining etiquette), and your style of dress and accessories. We will explore most of these in the following section, but for now we can list some of the behaviors associated with social graces:

• Saying please when asking someone to do something.
• Saying thank you when given something you accept.
• Saying no, thank you, but thanks for the offer when offered something you refuse.
• Complimenting someone for a something they have done well.
• Speaking positively about others and refraining from negative comments.
• Smiling often.
• Being a good listener.

Of course, there is much more to social graces, but let's focus now on specific situations in which social graces are expressed.